Sunday, June 3, 2007

Thriving in the Chamber of Fear

What the fuck is this?

LeBron James is going to the finals. Nobody thought it would happen except for him. With a ragtag bunch of shifty miscreants and overweight and overwrought fans digging their soles on his back, he climbed the ladder and threw it down like Bill Walton told him to. Those who opposed him (read: Tayshaun Prince) cowered in his path like a Yorkshire Terrier walking into Michael Vick’s house. He elevated his game, elevated his sport and elevated his city to a euphoria unfelt before. In the kinescopes of history, this fact isn’t a big deal. It won’t bring about peace in the middle east, lead to a cure for AIDS or do much to get me laid, but it is still something worth mentioning. At 22, he is cementing his place in the grand halls of people who we call legends by executing the kind of performances that we’ll inevitably hear about on Sportscenter 30 years from now. Pantheon type shit.

Across the country, at the same time, those who only dream of being legends watched and reveled in the exploits of someone who is the same age but walks on a different earth. As we cheer him on, we curse him, because, well, fuck! He was born 6’8” and 240 lbs. He has “Chosen 1” tatted between his blades. He’s been touted since he was 11. He is a God amongst Men. His flaws on the court are constantly scrutinized, but in due time, he overcomes them. But, in spite of this, one inescapable fact remains…

He looks goofy as hell when he smiles. Deal with it.

We dedicate this blog to the flawed deities that we idolize (and mock) and impractical dreams that we hold ever so loosely. We have our tragic hero (see the title) and our smug humor (see the post above). We’re outside the Pantheon, looking in through the greasy windows. When you’re on the top of the mountain, everyone can see you. When you’re halfway up, there are a lot of places you can go. We can be our own heroes. We got nothing but words and time, and although we can’t dunk like LeBron, we can write about whatever the fuck we want. That is, until we go corporate.

Read on.

"Congradulations puppy! We found you a new home on a farm in Georgia! I heard they have a lot of dogs for you to play with!"

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