The Gray Race

This space has been vacant for far too long. Too much time with Eastern European porn-satire as the leading post. Too much time away from what makes The Alan Wong great: idle navel-gazing, precocious silliness, and irresponsible shrugging/laconic writing.

The authors of this site have been watching the political scene with moderate-extreme interest. I believe that egully probably has more intelligent insight, more inside information, and more skill in presenting political opinions... but whatever, I'm writing and he isn't.

Like God on the first day of creation, here goes something out of nothing:

Who are you supporting for the Democratic nomination?

B-Rock. I am afflicted with Obamamania and, like the people eating tainted cheesesteak hotpockets, I don't know how I caught what I've got. I suspect it's because he's male. Or because he's black. Or because he's written two books, one of which was excellent. Maybe it's because he bridges the gap between Islam and Christianity. Or because he bridges the gap between black and white. Republican and Democrat. Paper and plastic. Biggie and Tupac. Simon and Paula.

Wait a second. Are you saying you support Obama without knowing his stance on major issues?

Goddamn right. I suspect that presidents very rarely make much of a difference on their own. Bush gets too much credit for destroying checks and balances, eroding legislative and judicial power to bolster executive control. If Bush is more retarded than the bastard child of Forrest Gump and Radio with fetal alchohol syndrome, he can't possibly be the one who singlehandedly kicked the Founding Fathers in their ghostly balls. I'm under the impression that Congress facilitated and enabled his most appalling moves.



The president doesn't matter all that much. Obama looks and sounds good. He won't die in office like a certain geriatric Republican nominee barring a Princip/Booth-type disaster which I suspect a lot of Obama supporters fear like Y2K (a vague uneasiness and desperate hope that the world doesn't crash down around us; bottled water stockpiles are unnecessary this go-around.)

So you only want Obama to become president because he looks and sounds good? Isn't that shallow?

If he had polio, Obama could be the next FDR. Uniting parties, delegating executive responsibility, rallying a nation during war and economic strife, and making costly social programs to overcompensate for laissez-faire economic policies. It's entirely possible that I'm being shallow. So what? Tell me you've got a better reason.



I'm the one asking the questions, thank you very much. I do have a better reason: widespread health insurance coverage without creating a monolithic government-controlled agency that eliminates patient choice and doctor's rights. And he smoked weed.

Those are both good reasons. But that's not really why I'd vote for him. It's what I might tell my friends and family, but mostly I want it to happen to be a part of history. And that's pretty much it. I don't follow politics closely enough to really care. I didn't vote in 2004 (please, blame me for the last four years of war, poverty, and discord.) I just want Obama. I want to see the first black president. I want to see the world's reaction. I want to hear accusations of racism thrown at conservatives who criticize him, I want to listen to his state of the union address, I want to see his name in my college magazine's Where Are They Now? section, I want to see him put on weight, and I want Michelle to be the First Lady.

In state politics, how do you feel about Arnold taking 5 billion dollars away from education?

I'm for it. These kids are coddled entirely TOO much. After teaching in LA and Oakland, one thing I can say for sure is that urban schools are consistently churning out spoiled children who go on to spurn Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader, forcing Foxworthy to ask the underprivileged suburban children what the capital of South Dakota is. I think teaching would be way easier if I had forty or fifty kids in my classroom, sharing one textbook among three students, without frivolous music or art classes. Let's focus a little more on the Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. And we can test the shit out of those skills and give whatever money is left-over to the highest-performing schools.

Fuck the poor.



Right.